Monthly Archives: June 2017

The Scariest Lullaby of Them All!

Rock-a-bye, baby, in the tree top
When the wind blows the cradle will rock
Who put the cradle in the tree??? How did they even do that?
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall
Down will come baby, cradle and all
This is so scary…I hope the baby wasn’t hurt!

Baby is drowsy, cozy and fair
Is the baby drowsy and fair because he hurt himself falling out of the tree?
Mother sits near in her rocking chair
Mother is sitting in a chair while her baby was falling out of a tree…hmm…maybe someone needs to call CPS on her!
Forward and back, the cradle she swings
Though baby sleeps, he hears what she sings

Rock-a-bye baby, do not you fear
Never mind, baby, mother is near
Mother wasn’t near when the baby fell! Or when he was being put in a tree!
Wee little fingers, eyes are shut tight
Now sound asleep – until morning light
The baby will need his sleep to escape from his dangerous home life!

 This song is pure nonsense and downright scary!!

Nursery Rhyme Analysis – Hush Little Baby

This is an old picture of James and me.
I actually like when Mommy sings this to James but I have never taken a good look at the lyrics.
So here we go!


Hush Little Baby

Hush, little baby, don’t say a word.
Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird
I personally am afraid of birds but it is a nice gesture…

And if that mockingbird won’t sing,
Papa’s gonna buy you a diamond ring
I don’t know that James would appreciate a diamond ring as much as Mommy…

And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Papa’s gonna buy you a looking glass
A looking glass? Isn’t that a mirror? What would James do with a mirror?

And if that looking glass gets broke,
Papa’s gonna buy you a billy goat
How about you skip the goat and buy James a toy boat. Boat still rhymes and it won’t make a mess like a goat.

And if that billy goat won’t pull,
Papa’s gonna buy you a cart and bull
I’m veto-ing any bull. It might step on me!

And if that cart and bull turn over,
Papa’s gonna buy you a dog named Rover
James doesn’t need a dog named Rover. He has a dog named Gussie.

And if that dog named Rover won’t bark
Papa’s gonna buy you a horse and cart
Both Mommy and I are afraid of horses. A cart would be okay though. James could push me around in it.

And if that horse and cart fall down,
You’ll still be the sweetest little baby in town.
Well, that part is true.

The Worst Nursery Rhyme EVER!

My Grandfather’s Clock

My grandfather’s clock was too large for the shelf
Who needs a clock that big?
So it stood ninety years on the floor
It was taller by half than the old man himself
Isn’t referring to him as “the old man” a little insensitive?
Though it weighed not a pennyweight more
What is a pennyweight? Was the old man a fatty?

It was bought on the morn of the day that he was born
And was always his treasure and pride
Oh, the old man must have loved his clock like James loves his lovey.
But it stopped, short never to go again
When the old man died
Wait, what? What kind of nursery rhyme is this???

Ninety years without slumbering
His life seconds numbering
?
It stopped, short never to go again
When the old man died
This is a TERRIBLE song!

My grandfather said that of those he could hire
Not a servant so faithful he found
I just don’t even know what to say about this nonsense.
For it wasted no time and had but one desire
At the close of each week to be wound
Wound? Didn’t it have a plug?

And it kept in its place, not a frown upon its face
And its hands never hung by its side
I am so confused.
But it stopped short, never to go again
When the old man died
This is quite possibly the worse rhyme I have heard.

Click here to hear this twisted song!

National Say Something Nice Day

Today is National Say Something Nice Day.
According to the folks at National Day Calendar, “the purpose of this holiday is to counteract bullying and the lack of civility and common courtesy that is growing among people in today’s world.”

To do my part, I will use encouraging words while Mommy is exercising and keep the comments about her thighs to myself.
I will also not tell Daddy exactly what I think his breath smells like.
I am sure it will be a huge help.
It really is the little things!