Category Archives: Gussie

Gussie’s daily blogs.

The Scariest Lullaby of Them All!

Rock-a-bye, baby, in the tree top
When the wind blows the cradle will rock
Who put the cradle in the tree??? How did they even do that?
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall
Down will come baby, cradle and all
This is so scary…I hope the baby wasn’t hurt!

Baby is drowsy, cozy and fair
Is the baby drowsy and fair because he hurt himself falling out of the tree?
Mother sits near in her rocking chair
Mother is sitting in a chair while her baby was falling out of a tree…hmm…maybe someone needs to call CPS on her!
Forward and back, the cradle she swings
Though baby sleeps, he hears what she sings

Rock-a-bye baby, do not you fear
Never mind, baby, mother is near
Mother wasn’t near when the baby fell! Or when he was being put in a tree!
Wee little fingers, eyes are shut tight
Now sound asleep – until morning light
The baby will need his sleep to escape from his dangerous home life!

 This song is pure nonsense and downright scary!!

Nursery Rhyme Analysis – Hush Little Baby

This is an old picture of James and me.
I actually like when Mommy sings this to James but I have never taken a good look at the lyrics.
So here we go!


Hush Little Baby

Hush, little baby, don’t say a word.
Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird
I personally am afraid of birds but it is a nice gesture…

And if that mockingbird won’t sing,
Papa’s gonna buy you a diamond ring
I don’t know that James would appreciate a diamond ring as much as Mommy…

And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Papa’s gonna buy you a looking glass
A looking glass? Isn’t that a mirror? What would James do with a mirror?

And if that looking glass gets broke,
Papa’s gonna buy you a billy goat
How about you skip the goat and buy James a toy boat. Boat still rhymes and it won’t make a mess like a goat.

And if that billy goat won’t pull,
Papa’s gonna buy you a cart and bull
I’m veto-ing any bull. It might step on me!

And if that cart and bull turn over,
Papa’s gonna buy you a dog named Rover
James doesn’t need a dog named Rover. He has a dog named Gussie.

And if that dog named Rover won’t bark
Papa’s gonna buy you a horse and cart
Both Mommy and I are afraid of horses. A cart would be okay though. James could push me around in it.

And if that horse and cart fall down,
You’ll still be the sweetest little baby in town.
Well, that part is true.

The Worst Nursery Rhyme EVER!

My Grandfather’s Clock

My grandfather’s clock was too large for the shelf
Who needs a clock that big?
So it stood ninety years on the floor
It was taller by half than the old man himself
Isn’t referring to him as “the old man” a little insensitive?
Though it weighed not a pennyweight more
What is a pennyweight? Was the old man a fatty?

It was bought on the morn of the day that he was born
And was always his treasure and pride
Oh, the old man must have loved his clock like James loves his lovey.
But it stopped, short never to go again
When the old man died
Wait, what? What kind of nursery rhyme is this???

Ninety years without slumbering
His life seconds numbering
?
It stopped, short never to go again
When the old man died
This is a TERRIBLE song!

My grandfather said that of those he could hire
Not a servant so faithful he found
I just don’t even know what to say about this nonsense.
For it wasted no time and had but one desire
At the close of each week to be wound
Wound? Didn’t it have a plug?

And it kept in its place, not a frown upon its face
And its hands never hung by its side
I am so confused.
But it stopped short, never to go again
When the old man died
This is quite possibly the worse rhyme I have heard.

Click here to hear this twisted song!

National Say Something Nice Day

Today is National Say Something Nice Day.
According to the folks at National Day Calendar, “the purpose of this holiday is to counteract bullying and the lack of civility and common courtesy that is growing among people in today’s world.”

To do my part, I will use encouraging words while Mommy is exercising and keep the comments about her thighs to myself.
I will also not tell Daddy exactly what I think his breath smells like.
I am sure it will be a huge help.
It really is the little things!

Catching up With Gussie!

 My blog and Facebook page have been pretty quiet this past week and half!

I sure did miss keeping up with all of my friends!

There has been lots of traveling going on and we have a jam packed summer planned as well!
As usual, I have been called in to coordinate all the driving and flights.
Things are calm again for a little bit but my grandparents and cousin are coming to visit me next week.
Of course, I have to do all the preparations for them!

An Ear Revision

I was watching the video of me walking and I was horrified by the size of my ears.
I never realized they looked so droopy.
I know they can sag when you get older but this is ridiculous!

Do you think I should look into a procedure to make them more perky?

Nursery Rhyme Time- This Old Man

This Old Man

This old man, he plays one
What old man?
He plays knick knack on my thumb
Umm…no.
With a knick knack paddy wack
Give a dog a bone
Well, if there is a bone involved I guess he can play knick knack on my thumb.
Not the one with the skin tag though…that might hurt.
This old man comes rolling home

This old man, he plays two
He plays knick knack on my shoe
I don’t wear shoes… Mommy has an excessive amount though.
With a knick knack paddy wack
Give a dog a bone
If I am lending the old man Mommy’s shoes, I want 2 bones for my trouble.
This old man comes rolling home
Rolling? Does he not have a car or bike?

This old man, he plays three
He plays knick knack on my knee
No. I am not a spring chicken and I don’t need anyone beating on my joints.
With a knick knack paddy wack
Give a dog a bone
I’d still appreciate the bone though.
This old man comes rolling home

This old man, he plays four
He plays knick knack on my door
I occasionally bark when people knock on the door…
I  hope this old man isn’t beating on random doors.
With a knick knack paddy wack
Give a dog a bone
What kind of bones are these?
Mommy has high standards for my food…
This old man comes rolling home

This old man, he plays five
Don’t play knick knack on that hive
What kind of hive are we talking about?
A bee hive? Or the kind of hive Mommy and James get when they eat certain foods?
With a knick knack paddy wack
Give a dog a bone
No peanut butter bones…because of James’ allergies…
This old man comes rolling home

This old man, he plays six
He plays knick knack on my sticks
I don’t have any sticks. This song is getting silly.
With a knick knack paddy wack
Give a dog a bone
We are already on six and I haven’t gotten my bone yet.
This old man comes rolling home

This old man, he plays seven
He plays knick knack up in heaven
Wait…is the old man in heaven? Say hi to Tino for me!
With a knick knack paddy wack
Give a dog a bone
How will I get my bone if the old man is in heaven?
This old man comes rolling home

This old man, he plays eight
He plays knick knack on my gate
We have gates all over the house…which one should I wait at.
With a knick knack paddy wack
Give a dog a bone
I want to be sure I am at the right gate to get my bone!
This old man comes rolling home

This old man, he plays nine
He plays knick knack on my vine
What is a vine? This song is really bizarre.
With a knick knack paddy wack
Give a dog a bone
Can’t stop thinking about my bone!
This old man comes rolling home

This old man, he plays ten
He plays knick knack all over again
Wait…what? The old man is starting again. This is ridiculous.
With a knick knack paddy wack
Give a dog a bone
Just give me the bone already!
This old man comes rolling home